Assignment:

On a completely different subject (although it does inspire a desire for the beverage of iniquity): Chicken legs...Eughhh!!!

Having discovered a plethora of chicken legs at the base of my freezer, I became faced with the question as to why these poultry items had not been utilised in the process of subsistence. A debate with my girlfriend Claire and friends ensued and we came to the conclusion that they taste like shit! Could it be their ugly appearance? The tough meat that needs to be boiled for sixteen hours so as to obtain the mildest tenderness? The "rubbery bit at the end of the bone"? Hitherto I was unaware of this "rubbery bit". However, having pondered on this concept proclaimed by my girlfriend, my stomach seems to have adopted a non ingestion of chicken leg meat policy. I no longer have the capacity to entertain this item of sustenance and as a chef I did have many ideas as to how this meat should be cooked. After much deliberation, it was noted that no such sumptuous dish could ever be possible with chicken leg meat. Consequently, alternative uses have been proposed:

100 things you can do with chicken leg meat

1. Leg replacement
2. Car wing mirrors
3. Fake hands
4. Wings of an aircraft
5. Replacement ears for Welsh rugby players (No.22 Davies)
6. Ear muffs
7. Keyring
8. Computer mouse
9. Breast enlargement (silicon substitute)
10. Mobile telephone for policemen
11. Toilet paper
12. Cool glasses (Elton John styly)
13. Christmas tree decorations
14. Rugby ball
15. Earrings for Pat Butcher
16. Penis enlargement
17. Hat (particuarly for wedding occasions)
18. Socks
19. Gloves
20. Sex aid
21. Fake tan applicator
22. Rub on deodorant/eau de bur flu (for people that love chicken a bit too much)
23. Welly boots (stretch the skin)
24. Cheap toys/lollipops for children
25. Candlestick holders
26. Paintbrush
27. Stuff pillows
28. Toothbrush
29. Fuel for your car (chicken power) ((Robin Reliant owners))
30. Smoking pipe
31. Wheel lock for push bikes
32. Crutches
33. Coat for small birds
34. Boomerang
35. Swimming shorts for a turkey
36. To hit football players with
37. Memorabilia
38. Designer handbags for vegetarians (i.e. Victoria Beckham)
39. Slippers
40. Pot stand
41. Toilte roll holder
42. Car jack
43. wheels for your car
44. Goal posts for mice
45. Traffic cones
46. Tea bags
47. Nutcrackers
48. Dolphin food
49. Soap for poor people
50. Snorkel